THIS IS ME
I could've call this page about me, about, or something along those lines.
The thing with me is, I've always been ashamed of who I am. Like lots of other people, I've come through a lot of shit, including childhood sexual abuse and I've always been ashamed of that. I thought that if people knew my story they would think less of me.
Now I'm not ashamed of who I am. I'm happy to tell my story and I can do it without tears, anger, resentment, guilt and shame.
This is me.
The point of doing this to tell you that I know what it's like to have mindset issues and limiting beliefs, I know what it's like to struggle, I know what it's like to look at other people and think why the fuck does everything come so easy for them? I know what it's like to feel stuck, like you're drifting through life not really knowing where you're going. I've been through all that and it's shit. So if you're wondering how I can help you, or what the fuck do I know about struggle, now you know.
I hold the world record for the longest self pity party EVER.
This is not a ‘woe is me’ story. I don’t feel sorry for myself any more and I don’t want you to feel sorry for me.
I've hit rock bottom twice in my life. The first time I tried to take my own life, the second time I came close to doing it again.
I thought I didn’t deserve to be loved. I was worthless. Not good enough. I hated life. I hated myself. I hated myself that much that I thought my daughter was better off without me. I thought her dad could do a better job of taking care of her than me. I was in a deep, dark hole and I didn’t know how to get out of it.
I couldn't do it. I told myself I deserve better than this. My daughter doesn't deserve this. My childhood had been ruined. I didn’t want to ruin hers too. She needs me. She needs her mum.
So why did that night change my life? I got the help I needed. I learned about mindset and self development. I came off my antidepressants. I'd been on them for as long as I could remember, I always said that I could never see my life without them. But I did it. And when I did I felt stronger without them. I finally beat the crap out of my depression! I started to like myself. To love and respect myself. When I started this work the PTSD stopped too.
I decided that I wanted to help people who for whatever reason, deep down don't feel 'good enough.' I became a coach. I do it because no-one should live a life with negative emotions and feelings about themselves. That’s no way to live. It’s not living.
I’m helping people to change their lives. Teaching people to love themselves, that they are worthy. That they’re here to live life to their full potential. Those voices in your head that tell you you're dreams? They're there for a reason. You don't think you can achieve it but you can. I didn't used to believe it. I do now. I know what's possible for me. We're here to live a life that’s fulfilled. I have helped people who have come through childhood trauma, suicide attempts and many other heartbreaking stories. I see people transform before my eyes. It gives me goosebumps every time. When you go through pain, you don’t like seeing other people in pain. It’s why I do what I do.
So here I am. This is me. I’m not a victim any more. I’ve spent my life wondering what my life would’ve been like if I hadn’t been abused. Wondering what I could’ve achieved. Now I see it as what can I achieve BECAUSE of my abuse. My experiences allow me to be empathetic and sympathetic.
Click on the video on left to see me talking about my story and why I do what I do. Or if you can watch it here on Facebook
If you ever feel down. If you deep down feel that you're not 'enough.' Please remember that your life is important. You are important. There are people who love you. There are people who need you. There are people who need your love. More importantly, you need to give yourself some love. Because the relationship you have with yourself is the most important relationship of all.
Are you ready to change your story?
10 Things About Me
I grew up in north London and left home at 18 to live in Spain. I lived in Spain and Gibraltar for 9 months
I now live in Hertfordshire with my 12 year old daughter and 2 rescue dogs. I'm a 20 minute train ride away from London, close enough to go in when I want but away from the craziness!
I've been to Amsterdam more times than I can reamember. I nearly ended up moving there to live, we were learning dutch and everything! It didn't happen though
I will live abroad again one day. I love my home country but I can't stand the weather. I will live in either Ibiza or Cyprus
I love chocolate. I have a sweet tooth. I've always said that I have an addiction to sugar but I have it under control now. I eat by the 80/20 rule. There is no way I will live withouthchocolate and the things I like
I left school with nothing. I didn't do any exams. I couldn't wait to leave so I could get a full time job so I could party and go clubbing every weekend
I'm a night owl. Always have been. I tried the getting up at 5.30am thing but it didn't last long. I love my sleep but I have to force myself to go to bed. I could quite easily stay up until 4-5am every morning. But being a human and doggy mum that isn't really possible!
I love the sun and hate the cold. I was definitely born in the wrong country
I grew up with my mum and 3 old brothers
I think naked toenails should be illegal
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